11/06/2012
2/12/2008
1/26/2008
MVP of WEEK 3: Crush
Well, if there is one thing that I've learned from watching American Gladiator it's that Crush is unflappable. By unflappable, I mean that she's kicked so much ass as a professional fighter that the giant q-tips and perky competitors are a cake walk for her. Just check this out:
She kicks a ton of ass. And if you get up in her grill, SHE. WILL. BURY. YOU.
Sure she got dq'ed for it, but it sent a message. It said that if you cross the Crusher, you will get a beautifully sculpted kick to the face. And you will lose. Then later win. But lose in the end thanks to you being terrible at the Eliminator.
Crush 1000000. Competition 0.
She kicks a ton of ass. And if you get up in her grill, SHE. WILL. BURY. YOU.
Sure she got dq'ed for it, but it sent a message. It said that if you cross the Crusher, you will get a beautifully sculpted kick to the face. And you will lose. Then later win. But lose in the end thanks to you being terrible at the Eliminator.
Crush 1000000. Competition 0.
1/18/2008
Week 2: Drink whenever someone has to quit after breaking their leg in Powerball!
So the story goes like this: you've lost everything you've ever owned. You're down on your luck. Thing is, you're a great athlete and there's this show called "American Gladiators" that will give you not only an ass-ton of cash if you win, but a car AND steady employment as a gladiator. This could be the thing that changes your life. You show up at the tryout. You get onto the big show. You're all ready to go. First event: Powerball
Welp, there goes your leg. Good thing you've got the resources to pay for the surgery/rehab that torn ACL is going to need. What? You're down on your luck? You need a hand?
TOO BAD. POWERBALL PWND U. GO HOME AND CRY.
Or, have a very posi-reverend come and win in your place, then dedicate his win to you. In the back of your mind you're hoping he wins the big bucks and dedicates some of that instead.
At least he got to meet his idol, TITAN...why is TITAN his idol? Why isn't it WOLF?
On another note, HELLGA, the beefiest woman in all of sports took a swim thanks to a well placed NERF ball. And I thought that my friends were joking when they said Assault was like NERF. If you look closely on the side of the gladiator cannon (oh yeah!) you can clearly see it says NERF on the side! Well, here's HELLGA going for a swim:
As for an MVP, I would have to give it to WOLF.
(sound sync is off, but hell, it's got CRUSH in it too. PLUS! They reveal they've been picked up for another season!!!!!!!)
-ccmas
Welp, there goes your leg. Good thing you've got the resources to pay for the surgery/rehab that torn ACL is going to need. What? You're down on your luck? You need a hand?
TOO BAD. POWERBALL PWND U. GO HOME AND CRY.
Or, have a very posi-reverend come and win in your place, then dedicate his win to you. In the back of your mind you're hoping he wins the big bucks and dedicates some of that instead.
At least he got to meet his idol, TITAN...why is TITAN his idol? Why isn't it WOLF?
On another note, HELLGA, the beefiest woman in all of sports took a swim thanks to a well placed NERF ball. And I thought that my friends were joking when they said Assault was like NERF. If you look closely on the side of the gladiator cannon (oh yeah!) you can clearly see it says NERF on the side! Well, here's HELLGA going for a swim:
As for an MVP, I would have to give it to WOLF.
(sound sync is off, but hell, it's got CRUSH in it too. PLUS! They reveal they've been picked up for another season!!!!!!!)
-ccmas
1/14/2008
1/09/2008
American Gladiators Drinking Game- As it Stands
shot every time a gladiator blatently fucks up
drink anytime a gladiator falls in a pool, twice if the contender does also
drink anytime hulk says brother
drink anytime hulk flexes discreetly
drink anytime a gladiator does a "signature" move
drink anytime what milita does could be misconstrued as "gay sex"
drink any time a contender cracks wise about a gladiator, twice if the gladiator subsequently punishes their arrogance.
drink anytime a contender scores 10 or more points in an event
drink anytime anyone talks directly to the camera
and waterfall for however long the head start is in the eliminator
drink anytime a gladiator falls in a pool, twice if the contender does also
drink anytime hulk says brother
drink anytime hulk flexes discreetly
drink anytime a gladiator does a "signature" move
drink anytime what milita does could be misconstrued as "gay sex"
drink any time a contender cracks wise about a gladiator, twice if the gladiator subsequently punishes their arrogance.
drink anytime a contender scores 10 or more points in an event
drink anytime anyone talks directly to the camera
and waterfall for however long the head start is in the eliminator
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)